


lord save us all

by IceColdIgnorance



Category: ASTRO (Band), BLACKPINK (Band), EXID (Band), EXO (Band), GOT7, Monsta X (Band), NCT (Band), Red Velvet (K-pop Band), SEVENTEEN (Band), TWICE (Band), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: F/F, Gay, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Memes, chat fic, everywhere, gay everywhere, idk man, im bad at tags??, implied fluff, it was a trash idea, its just trash, jackson made a mistake by making this, so much company dissing, some chapters will be focusing on one group, sorry this is a gays only event, texting?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2018-11-18 04:57:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 10,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11284185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceColdIgnorance/pseuds/IceColdIgnorance
Summary: Jackson decided to create a group chat with 64 other people. Chaos. And memes.(will add relationship tags later)





	1. the beginning of the end

**Author's Note:**

> why did i decide to make this. This chapter is just kind of introducing everyone, so not as meme-y as it will be, i won't make promises tho because i can't keep them. Enjoy!  
> Mark Tuan - FLUFF  
> Im Jaebum, - Dad o-O  
> Jackson Wang, wangwang  
> Park Jinyoung, Mother  
> Choi Youngjae, - sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
> Kunpimook Bhuwakul, - dabdab  
> Kim Yugyeom, EOPSEO  
> Kim Seokjin, - Handsome Mother  
> Kim Namjoon, - dance monster  
> Min Yoongi, - Agust D  
> Jung Hoseok, -imyourangel  
> Park Jimin, - Tony Montana  
> Kim Taehyung, - alien  
> Jeon Jungkook, - Golden Maknae  
> Kim Minseok, - ^-^minnie^-^  
> Luhan, lu ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
> Wu Yifan, - Daddy  
> Kim Junmyeon, - Mother  
> Park Chanyeol, - dead meme  
> Do Kyungsoo, - literal satan  
> Zhang Yixing, - Unicorns :3  
> Huang Zitao, - gucciflipflops  
> Kim Jongdae, - Barney  
> Byun Baekhyun, - bb for days bro  
> Kim Jongin, - Jongin  
> Oh Sehun, - Taller  
> Im Nayeon, - Grandma  
> Minatozaki Sana, - sha sha sha  
> Park Jisoo (Jihyo), - Momma Twice  
> Myoui Mina, - Ballerina  
> Son Chaeyoung, - Innocent ♥‿♥  
> Chou Tzuyu, - Taiwanese Princess  
> Hirai Momo, - Dancing Queen  
> Yoo Jungyeon, - givememorelines  
> Kim Dahyun, - Rap God  
> Kim Jisoo (Blackpink), - 4dddd  
> Jennie Kim, - inyourareaaaa  
> Park Chaeyoung, - rosé to your thorns  
> Lalisa Manoban, - brrr rambo  
> Choi Seungcheol, - s.soups  
> Hong Jisoo (Seventeen), - jisooschrist  
> Yoon Jeonghan, - angel  
> Jeon Wonwoo, - librarian  
> Kim Mingyu, - treegyu  
> Kwon Soonyoung, - 10:10  
> Lee Chan, - michael jackson enthusiast  
> Boo Seungkwan, - divaboo  
> Choi Hansol, - rapgod  
> Xu Minghao, - dabdab2.0  
> Lee Jihoon, - smol producer  
> Wen Junhui, - pepe  
> Lee Seokmin, - smile master  
> Yoon Sanha, - Maknae (✿´‿`)  
> Park Minhyuk (Astro), - Dancing King  
> Moon Bin, - Moonrock  
> Lee Dongmin, - Visual King  
> Park Jinwoo, - small  
> Kim Myungjun, - MJ  
> Shin Hoseok, - Ramen  
> Lee Jooheon, - Spitting Fire & Aegyo  
> Son Hyungwoo, - Teddy Bear  
> Yoo Kihyun, - Hamster  
> Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X), - Chinese Herb  
> Lim Changkyun, - kitkat chunky  
> Chae Hyungwon - whatvisual

**_wangwang changed the chat name to lord save us all_ **

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧** **:** wydm??

 

 **wangwang** **:** sry youngjae

 

_wangwang added Spitting Fire & Aegyo and 57 others to the chat _

 

 **Mother** **:** o h m y g o d

 

 **Mother** **:** Wait, if I’m Mother, then who is that??

 

 **wangwan** **g** **:** whoops

 

 **dabdab:** what in the hell ? ?

 

 **Mother:** Jackson what have you done?! ?!

 

 **wangwang:** well i added some of my friends

 

 **wangwang:** turns out i have more than intended

 

 **dabdab:** no shit sherlock

 

 **wangwang:** sense their seems to be some conffusion, introduce urselfs guys

 

 **literal satan:** *since *there *confusion *yourselves

 

 **wangwang:** shut the fuck up kyungsoo no one asked for your sass

 

**dead meme:**

 

 **dead meme:** sHut THe fUcK Up kYunGsOo nO AsKed fOR yOUr sASs

 

 **rapgod:** heh, ass

 

_literal satan has kicked dead meme from the chat_

 

 **literal satan:** Thank me later

 

 **treegyu:** how about now?

 

_wanwang has added dead meme to the chat_

 

 **wangwang:** as i was saying! please introduce urself.

 

 **wangwang:** im jackson wang of got7 :))

 

 **FLUFF:** mark of got7

 

 **Dad o-O:** Jaebum of Got7

 

 **Mother:** Jinyoung, current mother of got7

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** im youngjae (◕‿◕✿)

 

 **angel:** pure

 

 **bb for days bro:** corrupt him

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** please no :(

 

 **dabdab:** bambam of got to the 7

 

 **EOPSEO:** yugyeom.

 

 **dabdab:** boring

 

 **EOPSEO:** you cant talk

 

 **wangwang** : any other group care to introduce

 

 **brrr rambo:** we’ll go next ^-^

 

 **brrr rambo:** I’m Lisa of Blackpink !!

 

 **4dddd:** I’m Jisoo :)

 

 **jisooschrist** : omg same

 

 **angel:** no one asked

 

 **angel:** ladies continue

 

 **inyourareaaaa:** I’m Jennie of Blackpink :)

 

 **gucciflipflops** : iconic

 

 **taller:** jusT SHUT UP TAO

 

 **taller:** christ

 

 **jisooschrist:** you called?

 

 **Ballerina:** Do you all ever stop talking?

 

 **Ballerina:** It’s becoming concerning and this group chat has existed for less than 10 minutes.

 

 **taller:** sorry whoever you are

 

 **rosé to your thorns:** And I’m Rosé of Blackpink

 

 **Mother:** Kids we’re going next

 

 **Daddy:** great

 

 **Unicorns :3:** I’m Yixing of exo (▰˘◡˘▰)

 

 **Mother:** I’m Junmyeon of exo :)

  
**Daddy:** I’m Kris.

 

_Mother changed Mother’s name to CreditCard101_

 

 **Mother:** There can only be one

 

 **CreditCard101:** I hate you.

 

 **Mother:** That’s great.

 

 **gucciflipflops:** I’m Tao

 

 **Maknae (✿´‿`):** The one that cries?

 

 **bb for days bro:** UY RJN UANF EI NNUEHW

 

 **Barney:** thats,,,,,,

 

 **Barney** : a nice reputation u got there tao

 

 **gucciflipflops:** shut up

 

 **CreditCard101:** Children please

 

 **bb for days bro:** im byun baekhyun, hello ladies ;)

 

 **Barney:** you

 

 **Barney:** are

 

 **Barney:** gay??

 

 **bb for days bro:** lol u rite

 

 **Barney:** Aye, I’m Jongdae

 

 **bb for days bro:** aye?

 

 **literal satan:** Kyungsoo.

 

 **dead meme:** park chanyeool!

 

 **literal satan:** How did you manage to spell your own name wrong?

 

 **dead meme:** typo

 

 **Taller:** sure

 

 **Taller:** I’m Sehun

 

 **Jongin:** i’m jongin, but you can call me nini ! ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

 

 **sha sha sha:** aww that’s precious

 

 **bb for days bro:** is that

 

 **Barney:** who I

 

 **dead meme:** think it is?

 

 **Sha sha sha:** ??

 

 **literal satan:** Sana run while you can

 

_sha sha sha has left the chat_

 

 **Taller:** lmao

 

 **CreditCard101:** Where’s Luhan and Minseok?

 

 **dead meme:** probably fucking

 

 **CreditCard101:** CHANYEOL

 

 **Mother** **:** CHANYEOL

 

 **angel:** lol nice chanyeol

 

 **Chinese Herb:** chanyeol knows what’s up

 

 **dabdab:** two types of moms

 

_Agust D has left the chat_

_smol producer has left the chat_

 

 **10:10:** When father and son leave you

 

 **treegyu:** o m l

 

_CreditCard101 has changed their user to Rich Mother_

 

 **Rich Mother:** Whatever they’re doing

 

 **Rich Mother:** It’ll probably take a while.

 

 **Rich Mother:** Minseok is ^-^minnie^-^ and Luhan is lu ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **Chinese Herb:** Hoseok where is Hyunwoo?

 

 **imyourangel:** ??

 

 **Ramen:** he left the dorms a couple minutes ago other than that idk

 

 **Chinese Herb:** Thanks

 

 **Hamster:** He said he was going to go get food last i heard

 

 **whatvisual:** Last thing I heard was Kihyun’s moans

 

 **kitkat chunky:** your welcome

 

 **Literal satan:** *you’re welcome

 

_dead meme changed literal satan’s name to Grammar Police_

 

 **Grammar Police:** thanks

 

 **angel:** i hear a bible being opened

 

**Jisooschrist:**

 

_Momma Twice has added sha sha sha to the chat_

 

 **Momma Twice:** We’re next kiddos

 

 **Momma Twice:** I’m Jihyo, or Jisoo, but I’ll go by Jihyo because there’s other Jisoos ^~^

 

 **Grandma:** I’m Nayeon, hi.

  
**Grandma:** Sana  >:)

 

 **Grammar Police:** Wait a second.

 

_Grammar Police has muted Barney, bb for days bro, and dead meme_

 

 **Grammar Police:** Carry on.

 

 **Sha sha sha:** I’m Sana  >.<

 

 **Imyourangel:** she’s so cute im angry

 

 **Imyourangel:** ┻━┻ ︵ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ︵ ┻━┻

 

_Grammar Police has muted imyourangel_

 

 **Grammar Police:** God.

 

 **Jisooschrist:** You called?

 

_Grammar Police has left the chat_

 

 **taller:** lmao u broke him

 

_Rich Mother has unmuted bb for days bro, Barney, dead meme and imyourangel_

 

 **Momma Twice:** Does Twice really have this effect?

 

 **angel:** yes

 

 **angel:** carry on

 

 **Innocent ♥‿♥** : I’m Chaeyoung!

 

 **Taiwanese Princess** : Your username is a lie

 

 **Innocent ♥‿♥** : So is yours, “princess”

 

 **Momma Twice** : Maknaes please

 

 **Taiwanese Princess** : I’m Tzuyu

 

 **angel** : o h

  
**Taiwanese Princess:**??

 

 **s.soups** :

****

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** im chaeyoung!

 

 **angel:** you’re dead

 

 **Librarian:** i hear screaming

 

 **dabdab2.0** : rip s.soups

 

 **michael jackson enthusiast** : dad is dead

 

 **angel:** carry on ladies !!

 

 **Rap God** : its ya boy

 

 **Rap God** : Dahyun

 

 **wangwang** : omg queen

 

 **Mother** : ffs

 

 **Dancing Queen:** Momo ｡◕‿‿◕｡

 

 **Dancing King** : Well this is awkward

 

 **moonrock:** you know what to do

 

_Dancing King has changed their name to rock_

 

_Moonrock has changed their name to moon_

 

 **Dancing Queen:** oh okay

 

 **Dancing Queen:** i’m sorry if i was a problem :(

 

 **Ballerina** : You’re not a problem

 

 **Ballerina:** You’re the opposite of one, actually :)

 

 **givememorelines** : whipped

 

 **Ballerina:** No one asked for your _shit_ opinion

 

 **dead meme** : damn

 

 **dead meme:** momo get ur man

 

_Ballerina has kicked dead meme from the chat_

 

 **bb for days bro:** denial

 

_Ballerina has kicked bb for days bro from the chat_

 

 **Grammar Police:** I like her.

 

 **Dancing Queen:** Welcome to the club ;)

 

_Ballerina has left the chat_

 

 **Rap God:** MOMO BROKE HER LMAO

 

 **Momma Twice:** I come back to the dorm to screaming, is everything alright??

 

 **givememorelines:** Momo broke Mina

 

 **Momma Twice:** Nothing new

 

_Momma Twice has added Ballerina to the chat_

 

 **Momma Twice:** Introduce yourself

 

 **Ballerina:** Mina

 

_Ballerina has left the chat_

 

 **Givememorelines:** and im jungyeon lol

 

 **wangwang:** astro

 

 **MJ:** what

 

 **MJ:** oh yeah

 

 **MJ:** I’m Myungjun

 

 **small:** I’m Jinwoo

 

 **rock:** Minhyuk

 

 **Chinese Herb:** omg same

 

 **moon** : I’m Bin ^w^

 

 **Visual King** : Dongmin

 

 **Maknae (✿´‿`):** I’m Sanha

 

 **small:** Don’t corrupt him he’s innocent

 

_Rich Mother has added dead meme and bb for days bro to the chat_

 

 **Grammar Police:** Thank GOD

 

 **Grammar Police:** Chanyeol was spamming me, telling me to add him back

 

 **s.soups:** alright kiddos

 

_s.soups has added smol producer to the chat_

 

 **s.soups:** I’m Seungcheol

 

 **angel:** jeonghan

 

 **jisooschrist** : Jisoo/Joshua

 

 **librarian:** Wonwoo

 

 **treegyu:** Mingyu

 

 **10:10:** Soonyoung :)))

 

 **michael jackson enthusiast:** Chan

 

 **rapgod:** hansol/vernon

 

 **dabdab2.0:** minghaooo

 

 **dabdab:** eyyyyyy

 

**Divaboo:**

 

 **Spitting Fire & Aegyo: **Did

 

 **Spitting Fire & Aegyo: **Did

 

 **Spitting Fire & Aegyo: **You just use me? 

 

 **kitkat chunky:** he did lmao

 

 **Divaboo:** Boo Seungkwan

 

 **Divaboo:** Bow down bitches

 

 **small** : LANGUAGE

 

 **Divaboo** : You can’t tell me what to do “small”

 

_small has kicked Divaboo from the chat_

 

 **s.soups:** children why

 

 **smol producer:** I’m Jihoon.

 

 **pepe:** im jun

 

 **dead meme:** nice name

 

 **pepe** : u too buddy

 

 **smile master:** I’m Seokmin

 

 **wangwang:** we have like 2 groups left smh

 

 **Spitting Fire & Aegyo: **No offense jackson, but your dumb

 

 **Grammar Police:** *you’re

 

 **Ramen:** most of monsta x isn’t even here tbh

 

 **Ramen:** changkyun and kihyun are doing lord knows what and hyunwoo and minhyuk are shopping

 

 **Ramen:** hyungwon is dead

 

 **whatvisual:** lies

 

 **Ramen:** there he is

 

 **Spitting Fire & Aegyo: **minhyuk is Chinese Herb and hyunwoo is Teddy Bear

 

 **Ramen:** changkyun is kitkat chunky and kihyun is Hamster

 

 **Ramen:** im hoseok

 

 **Spitting Fire & Aegyo: **and im jooheon

 

 **Grammar Police:** Grammar 11/10

 

 **wangwang** : where’s bts

 

 **Handsome Mother:** we’re lurking

 

 **Handsome Mother:** I’m Jin

 

 **dance monster:** namjoon

 

_Handsome Mother has added Agust D to the chat_

 

 **Agust D:** I’m Yoongi

 

 **imyourangel:** I’m Hoseok as well :DD

 

 **Ramen:** omg that’s so cool that we have the same name

 

 **Jisooschrist:** get

 

 **4dddd:** used

 

 **Momma Twice:** to it

 

 **Tony Montana:** the jisoos are back

 

 **Tony Montana:** i’m jimin

 

_brrr rambo has changed Tony Montana’s name to Jamless_

 

 **Jamless:** you’re dead lisa

 

 **brrr rambo:** brb running

 

 **alien:** I’m Taehyung!!

 

 **Golden Maknae:** I’m jungkook

 

 **EOPSEO:** eyyyy

 

 **Golden Maknae:** eyyyy

 

 **Handsome Mother:** shut up

 

 **Golden Maknae:** Jealously.


	2. The Mom Squad™

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might have a delayed update after this, but I'll work hard to update this. I'm doing lots of things, but I might be able to update Monday or Tuesday. Enjoy!

  ****

_Mother created a chat_

 

_Mother added Handsome Mother, Momma Twice and 5 others to the chat_

 

 _Mother named the chat The Mom Squad_ _™_

 

 **Mother:** I’m having a crisis

 

 **Mother:** Mothers help me

 

 **Handsome Mother:** With what?

 

 **Mother:** So….

 

 **Mother:** I lost my kids

 

 **Momma Twice:** Where??

 

 **Rich Mother:** What??

 

 **angel:** When??

 

 **Hamster:** How??

 

 **small:** why am i here

 

 **Inyourareaaaa:** ^^^

 

 **Mother:** You mother your members enough to count as one

 

 **Mother:** I’m changing your names to something more mother friendly

 

_Mother changed angel’s name to Unfortunate Mother_

 

_Mother changed Hamster’s name to Hamster Mother_

 

_Mother changed small’s name to Small Mother_

 

_Mother changed inyourareaaaa’s name to Cool Mother_

 

 **Cool Mother:** I want to die.

 

 **Small Mother:** These are terrible names

 

 **Mother:** Shut up

 

 **Mother:** Anyways!

 

 **Mother:** So my members and I went out to the closest mall to go and have some fun since we’ve all been working hard recently

 

 **Mother:** And I turn around to talk to Mark and then I turn around to rest and they weren’t there!

 

 **Mother:** And then when I went to talk to Mark, he was gone as well!

 

 **Rich Mother:** We’ll that’s not good

 

 **Rich Mother:** Have you tried to contact them?

 

 **Mother:** Of course I have!

 

 **Mother:** They aren’t picking up their phones!

 

 **Mother:** I’ve been panicking for the last 5 mi8wtuewibtwepht3

 

 **Handsome Mother:** Jinyoung?

 

 **Hamster Mother:** He’s not responding…

 

 **Unfortunate Mother:** omg he’s dead

 

 **Rich Mother:** What if he got kidnapped?!

 

 **Momma Twice:** My motherly instincts are kicking in

 

 **Cool Mother:** Mine are as well

 

 **Small Mother:** Meet you all at the mall in five

 

* * *

 

 _The Mom Squad_ _™_

 

 **Handsome Mother:** Let’s split up

 

 **Momma Twice:** Let’s go in pairs, we don’t want to get kidnapped or attacked

 

 **Momma Twice:** I’ll go with Junmyeon

 

 **Hamster Mother:** I’ll take Jin

 

 **Unfortunate** **Mother:** Jennie will go with me

 

 **Small Mother:** I’ll stay near the entrance incase someone leaves with him

  ****

* * *

 

 _The Mom Squad_ _™_

 

 **Handsome Mother:** Found him

 

 **Hamster Mother:** He’s with his members

 

 **Handsome Mother:** He doesn’t look happy

 

 **Hamster Mother:** Yugyeom has him in a headlock

 

 **Handsome Mother:** o shit

 

 **Handsome Mother:** They see us

 

 **Hamster Mother:** they’re coming towards us

 

 **Handsome Mother:** They don’t look happy

 

 **Hamster Mother:** rUN

 

 **Momma Twice:** Second floor, coffee shop

 

 **Momma Twice:** JUNMYEON RUN

 

 **Rich Mother:** RUNNING

 

 **Hamster Mother:** FWIEUHGUEIHQNIQH

 

 **Handsome Mother:** KIHYUN NO

 

 **Cool Mother:** We’re headed up, what’s going on?

 

 **Handsome Mother:** WELL KIHYUN AND I WERE GOIGNT O APPROACH THM AND AKS FOR JINYOUGNG BACKK BUT TEHY ATTACKED US

 

 **Handsome Mother:** TEHY KIDNAPPED KIHYUN

 

 **Handsome Mother:** CURRENTLY HDING IN THE BATHROOM

 

 **Handsome Mother:** THEYRE BANGING ON THE DOOR

 

 **Unfortunate Mother:** JUNMYEON JUST TACKLED BAMBAM LMAO

 

 **Unfortunate Mother:** IM GONNA GO FIGHT YOUNGJAE

 

 **Momma Twice:** Jennie and I will work retrieving Jinyoung, Mark has him and Jennie can kick his ass

 

 **Cool Mother:** But he’s older and more muscular than me !!

 

 **Momma Twice:** Fight him.

 

 **Cool Mother:** Fine.

 

 **Unfortunate Mother:** I’ll help you kick his ass, Youngjae is locked in a storage closet.

 

 **Handsome Mother:** YOU NEED OT HELP KIHYUN

 

 **Unfortunate Mother:** o yeah

 

 **Unfortunate Mother:** ill get him

 

* * *

 

 _The Mom Squad_ _™_

 

 **Small Mother:** GET IN THE FUCKING VAN

 

 **Momma Twice:** WE’RE TRYING JINWOO SHUT UP

 

 **Unfortunate Mother:** BAMBAM AND HIS PENCIL ASS LEGS ARE GETTING CLOSER

 

 **Cool Mother:** JEONGHAN GET IN WE’RE LEAVING

 

 **Unfortunate Mother:** LMAO GOTTA BLAST

 

* * *

 

_lord save us all_

 

 **lu  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):**  WHERE IS JUNMYEON

 

 **^-^minnie^-^:** I can’t find him??

 

 **Unicorns :3:** He just walked into the dorm \ (•◡•) /

 

 **taller:** hold up… why is there jin and jeonghan dragging jinyoung of got7?? And mark??

 

 **wangwang:** LMAO THANKS SEHUN

 

 **Rich Mother:** LOCK THE FUCKING DOOR

 

 **Rich Mother:** Sehun you’re not my favorite anymore

 

_Rich Mother has kicked taller from the chat_

 

 **Daddy:** I’m not even going to ask why I hear bambam screaming outside

 

 **Dabdab:** LET US IN

 

 **Cool Mother:** NEVER

 

 **dead meme:** jennie of blackpink is in our dorm??

 

 **dead meme:** and jihyo??

 

 **dead meme:** jihyo can i have sana

 

 **Momma Twice:** sure

 

 **sha sha sha:** betrayal

 

 **dead meme:** omg thanks

 

 **Rap God:** Back the fuck off “dead meme”

 

 **Dancing Momo:** damn

 

 **brrr rambo:** MY EYES

 

 **brrr rambo:** THEYRE BURNING

 

 **rosé to your thorns:** to be fair you shouldn’t have walked in

 

 **brrr rambo:** u played one of my favorite songs and then expected me to not walk in??

 

 **Cool Mother:** What happened?

 

 **brrr rambo:** rosé was twerking

 

 **Cool Mother:** Without me?

 

 **treegyu:** HGEURIBGWEHWT

 

 **dabdab:** OMFG SHE SAID THAT

 

 **givememorelines:** What was she twerking to tho

 

 **brrr rambo:** fxxk it

 

 **givememorelines:** lmao

 

 **lu  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°):** mark just ran past my room with jennie running after him screaming ??

 

 **Momma Twice:** release him we have no use for him

 

 **Jamless:** I’m confused

 

 **alien:** I’m not =)

 

 **alien:** The Mom Squad™ wanted to go somewhere but Jinyoung got kidnapped by Mark and Yugyeom at the local mall. The Mom Squad™ was distressed because they didn’t know what happened to him so they ventured out into the scary real world to find him. They came to the mall and split up to find him. They found him on the second floor in a little coffee shop that serves the best cakes. Yugyeom had him in a headlock and Jin and Kihyun were spotted trying to rescue him. Jihyo and Junmyeon arrived to see Kihyun get literally swept off his  feet by  Jaebum.  Jin ran because Jackson started chasing him screaming about Namjoon. Mark took Jinyoung and Yugyeom joined Jackson in the chase for Jin. Jeonghan launched himself at Youngjae and shoved him into a storage closet. Junmyeon wrestled with Bambam for about a couple seconds because Bambam is weak af. Jennie knocked Mark out with a purse and Jeonghan saved Kihyun by taking Jaebum’s bucket hat and throwing it. Jaebum nearly jumped off a balcony to save it. Jinwoo was outside in a sketchy white van (he was the getaway driver) while the other moms rescued Jinyoung and kidnapped Mark for safe keeping. Jeonghan was the last person to get into the van, as Bambam grabbed him before chasing him down to the parking lot. They returned to exo’s dorm to revive Jinyoung and maybe make coffee plans. Got7 wants their mom back.

 

 **Golden Maknae:** what did i just read

 

 **Hamster Mother:** How did you know the details??

 

 **alien:** i had a feeling :)

 

 **Barney:**  sounds fake but okay 


	3. denialgyu and sekai confirmed??

**Barney:** CARELESS CARELESS

 

**bb for days bro:** SHOOT ANONYMOUS, ANONYMOUS

 

**dead meme:** HEARTLESS

 

**gucciflipflops:** MINDLESS

 

**Barney:** NO ONE WHO CARE ABOUT ME?

 

**taller:** jesus

 

**jisooschrist:** *jisoos

 

**taller:** don’t remind me of mama

 

**givememorelines:** what r u talking about

 

**givememorelines:** mama was a masterpiece

 

**Grandma** : you’re not in my family anymore

 

**Daddy:** you’re just embarrassed that you got turned on by jongin moaning mama near the end

 

_Rich Mother changed Jongin’s name to Innocence_

 

**Rich Mother:** he’s a child knock it off

 

**dead meme:** knock off his virginity if you know what i mean

 

_Grammar Police has kicked dead meme from the chat_

 

**Grammar Police:** That didn’t even make sense.

 

**Innocence:** plz stop talking about my virginity

 

**Barney:** a baby

 

**bb for days bro:** is he even a virgin???

 

**Barney:** we don’t know for sure

 

**Barney:**  sehun fuck him so its confirmed

 

_Taller has kicked bb for days bro and Barney from the chat_

 

**Daddy: s** omeone is in denial

 

_Taller has kicked Daddy from the chat_

 

**Taller:** i want you all to die

 

**Innocence:** even me? (⌯˃̶᷄ ﹏ ˂̶᷄⌯)

 

**Taller:** no

 

**Taller:** never

 

* * *

 

_Innocence created a chat with Taller_

 

**Innocence:** Sehun?

 

**Taller:** Yea?

 

**Innocence:** Do you want to go get ice cream? I’m hungry and bored :/

 

**Taller:** Sure!

 

* * *

 

_Taiwanese Princess created a chat with bb for days bro, Barney and 8 others_

 

_Taiwanese Princess named the chat SEKAI IS REAL_

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** GUESS WHO I SEE

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** EATING ICE CREAM TOGETHER

 

**bb for days bro:** omgomgomgomgomgomg

 

**Grammar Police:** Let me guess

 

**Grammar Police:** Sehun and Jongin?

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** ofc

 

**dead meme:** omg kyungsoo ur so smart how’d u guess it

 

**Grammar Police:** I’m not even going to say anything

 

_lu  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) changed their name to dead_

 

**dead:** what’s happening??

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** They’re just chatting butttt

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** jongin is leaning in an awful lot ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**Daddy:** this boy is going to be a pancake because he’s crushing so hard

 

**Barney:** that wasn’t even that funny wtf

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** WUBUDBGEWIGWE

 

**bb for days bro:** TZUYU DON’T DIE

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** SEHUN JUST LEANED FORWARD AND TRIED TO EAT JONGIN’S ICE CREAM AND JONGIN WAS LEANED IN AS WELL

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** BUT THEY MISSED THE ICE CREAM

 

**dead:** omfg

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** I GOT SO MANY PICTURES LMAO

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** BLACKMAIL

* * *

 

_lord save us all_

 

**Rich Mother:** So!

 

**Rich Mother:** Sehun, Jongin

 

**Rich Mother:** I heard from an unnamed source that you went out without my permission

 

**taller:** that “unnamed source” is wrong

 

**taller:** we never left

 

**dead:** that’s a funny joke

 

**Rich Mother:** _sent a picture_

 

**Rich Mother:** what’s this then?

 

**Innocence:** photoshop

 

**Rich Mother:** then where were you this afternoon?

 

**Rich Mother:** because i was in the dorm all day and i didn’t see you and i heard the door close at noon. I know for a fact all the other members were still here.

 

**Rich Mother:** stop lying we all know you kissed

 

**Visual King:** my heart just shattered looking at that photo

 

**bb for days bro:** e x p o s e d

 

**Barney:** g a y

 

**Taller:** you can’t speak baekhyun we all know you sucked jongdae’s dick last night

 

**Innocence:** I could hear you two from a mile away jesus

 

**Jisooschrist:** *jisoos

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** shut the fuck up

 

**Small Mother:** stop with the vulgar language

 

**Small Mother:** there are maknaes in this chat

 

**bb for days bro:** at least i dont act like the person i like doesnt exist dumbass

 

**Rich Mother:** shut up children

 

* * *

 

_lord save us all_

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** jisoo

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** please send a bible

 

**jisooschrist:** you hear it too?

 

**jisooschrist:** I thought i was the only one

 

**rapgod:**??

 

**s.soups:** WHO IS FUCKING AT 1 AM

 

**Divaboo:** it’s jun and minghao

 

**Divaboo:** they’re the ones fucking

 

**Divaboo:** andddd minghao is the bottom

 

**Unfortunate  Mother:** watch them deny it in the morning lmao

 

**treegyu:** can they shut the fuck up

 

**treegyu:** they’re going to wake wonwoo

 

**10:10:** and how would you know if he woke up?

 

_treegyu has left the chat_

 

**10:10:** moving along from the mess that is mingyu

 

**10:10:** does anyone have any spare room in their dorms?

 

**Dad o-O:** We have a couch that can pull out to fit two people

 

**Momma Twice:** same

 

**Hamster Mother:** ^

 

**Golden Maknae:** ^^

 

**brrr rambo:** ^^^

 

**Unfortunate  Mother:** Alright kiddos, pack your shit we’re moving.

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** Hansol and Seungkwan will go to Got7

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** Soonyoung and Jihoon will go to BTS

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** Wonwoo and Denialgyu will go with Twice

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** Jisoo, Seungcheol and I will go to Monsta X

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** And Chan and Seokmin can go to Blackpink

 

**givememorelines:** that’s some nice otps you got there

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** omg thanks

 

**Jamless:** “who’s your bias in seventeen”

 

**Jamless:** “denialgyu”

 

**Jamless:** “omg really my bias is blindwoo”

 

* * *

 

_lord save us all_

 

**Dancing Queen:** send help??

 

**Dancing Queen:** someone is crying??

 

**Grandma:** WHO??

 

**Ballerina:** It’s Mingyu.

 

**Grandma:**  nvm i don't care

 

**Ballerina:** Wonwoo was humming Lonely and Mingyu started to sob over Sistar

 

_Innocent ♥‿♥ changed the chat name to #THANKYOUSISTAR_

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** QUEENS

 

**Ballerina:** Someone go tell him to shut up, I’m trying to sleep

 

**librarian:** im trying

 

**librarian:** how can someone have so many tears that they can shed??

 

**librarian:** now he’s crying over fool by winner

 

**librarian:** im adding him back

 

_librarian added treegyu to the chat_

 

_Ballerina changed treegyu’s name to crygyu_

 

**crygyu:** I HAVE AN EXCUSE

 

**Rap God:**

 

**Rap God:** It better be a good excuse because you woke me up

 

**crygyu:** wonwoo wasnt JUST humming it

 

**crygyu:** he was full on SINGING it

 

**crygyu:** AND his voice is really soft n nice so that made me cry

 

**Ballerina:** You’re a mess.

 

**Grammar Police:** Get help.

 

**Dancing Queen:** be nice plz

 

**Ballerina:** Will do

 

**Grandma:** whipped

 

**Ballerina:** I am not whipped for Momo

 

**dead meme:**

**Dead meme:** I aM nOT wHiPpEd fOr mOmO

 

_Grammar Police has kicked dead meme from the chat_

 

**Grammar Police:** Who added him back

 

**Gucciflipflops:**

**Grammar Police:**  You're dead

 

_bb for days bro added dead meme to the chat_

 

**Unicorns :3:** I hear screaming??

 

**gucciflipflops:** ChANYeoL heS COMinG For yOU

 

**dead meme:** GOTTA BLAST

 

**Daddy:** and if u look to ur left u can see kyungsoo murdering chanyeol

 

**Rich Mother:** for fucks sake

 

**wangwang:** *ffs


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeonghan loses his shit, mimo & changki confirmed??, and disgraceful children

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if this is a bit late, i just got out of summer school and i've been working on a billion other things, so hopefully ill be working on this more often this summer

_ Private chat: moonlight _

 

**moon:** it’s happening again

 

**moon:** and this time I would prefer if you actually came to the dorm instead of calling him

 

**Unicorns :3:** I didn’t have time to physically come over that time

 

**Unicorns :3:** I’m on my way now

 

**Unicorns :3:** How bad?

 

**moon:** really bad

 

**moon:** he’s locked himself in the bathroom and won’t come out

 

**Unicorns :3:** Is there a key to the bathroom?

 

**moon:** jinwoo has one, i could get it from him, but it might take a while since he’s asleep

 

**Unicorns :3:** I’m nearly there

 

**moon:** thank you, again

 

**Unicorns :3:** It’s nothing

 

* * *

 

_ Private chat: lu must die _

 

**Rich Mother:** where is yixing??

 

**dead:** idk, why?

 

**dead:** is he not in the dorms?

 

**Rich Mother:** if he was, i wouldn’t be asking you where he was!

 

**dead:** i heard someone leave the dorm at like 3am

 

**dead:** they sounded like they were in a hurry

 

**dead:** just text the group chat if you’re so worried

 

**Rich Mother:** fine.

 

* * *

 

_ #THANKYOUSISTAR _

 

**Rich Mother:** Has anyone seen Yixing?? He’s not in our dorms and I’m worried

 

**Barney:** he left at 3:30 this morning muttering about a minhyuk

 

**Barney:** why?

 

**Unicorns :3:** Relax, I’m not dead

 

**Rich Mother:** Where have you been??

 

**Unicorns :3:** That’s none of your concern

 

**moon:** can you please stop talking, he’s trying to do something rn

 

_ moon has muted the chat _

 

* * *

 

_ Dancing Queen created a chat with Ballerina _

 

**Dancing Queen:** Hello! (✿˘‿˘) 

 

**Ballerina:** Hello Momo, how’s your day been?

 

**Dancing Queen:** great now that you’re talking to me

 

**Ballerina:** Aish, you’ll make me blush

 

**Dancing Queen:** Isn’t that the intention?

 

**Dancing Queen:** Yes, yes it is.

 

**Dancing Queen:** Anyways, do you want to go out for dinner with me?

 

**Dancing Queen:** I don’t mind ditching the other members if it means I’ll be with you

 

**Ballerina:** That’s sweet

 

**Ballerina:** Sure, why not?

 

* * *

__

_ moon created a chat with rock _

 

**moon:** are you okay?

 

**moon:** im just worried about you

 

**moon:** your panic attacks have become more regular

 

**moon:** im scared for you

 

**moon:** i dont want you to be hurt 

 

**moon:** i dont want you to hurt alone

 

**moon:** im always here for you

 

**moon:** ily <3

 

**rock:** ily 2

 

**rock:** thanks

 

**rock:** for everything

 

* * *

 

 

_ #THANKYOUSISTAR _

 

**Agust D:** who the fuck is blasting taeyeon

 

**Agust D:** im trying to sleep

 

**Handsome Mother:** it’s noon you should get up

 

**Agust D:** fine

 

**Handsome Mother:** seriously tho, who is blasting taeyeon??

 

**imyourangel:**

 

 

**Jamless:** ffs

 

**Golden Maknae:** have some class, play aoa

 

**imyourangel:** are you saying taeyeon has no class??

 

**imyourangel:** shame on u

 

**Jamless:** run, i hear him coming

 

**Golden Maknae:** i don’t need to run :)))) i can just expose him

 

**pepe:** i heard tea??

 

**Jamless:** that was quick??

 

**Golden Maknae:** tbh im impressed

 

**EOPSEO:** so you’re impressed by him but not me?? Im offeneded 

 

**Mother:** you spelled offended wrong

 

**Dabdab2.0:** jun when he hears tea

 

**Dabdab2.0:**

****

 

**pepe:** fuck off minghao

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** oh! :)

 

**dabdab2.0:** oh no

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** since you 2 are online…

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** why were you two fucking at 1 am??

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** because, i, being the mother i am, had to calm down my youngest

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** because you reduced him to tears with your NASTY MOANS

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** joshua was covering his ears with two bibles 

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** YOU BROKE HANSOL

 

**Divaboo:** AND I HAD TO FIX HIM

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** SEVENTEEN IS BROKEN

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** IT WILL NEVER BE FIXED

 

_ s.soups has changed pepe’s name to disgrace #1 _

 

_ s.soups has changed dabdab2.0’s name to disgrace #2 _

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** and!

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** everyone had to evacuate the dorms

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** and stay with other groups

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** SEVENTEEN WAS SEPARATED BECAUSE OF YOU

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** YOU TWO NASTY FUCKS RIPPED MY FAMILY APART

 

**Unfortunate Mother: YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES**

 

**Unfortunate Mother: YOU BROKE THIS FAMILY**

 

**Unfortunate Mother: AND LEFT ME TO FIX IT**

 

**Unfortunate Mother: BY**

 

**Unfortunate Mother: MY**

 

**Unfortunate Mother: SELF**

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** **_YOU DON’T DESERVE THE LOVE I GIVE YOU, THE ROOF I PUT OVER YOUR HEADS, THE BEDS YOU SLEEP ON, THE FOOD YOU EAT, THE SONGS WE SING, NOTHING._ **

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** **_YOU DON’T DESERVE ME_ **

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** **_YOU WORTHLESS, UNGRATEFUL CHILDREN_ **

 

**dead meme:**

 

**Dad o-O:**

 

**Grammar Police:**

****

**whatvisual:**

****

**whatvisual:** wouldn’t you say so, kyungsoo?

 

**Visual King:** love me some tea!

 

**disgrace #1:**

 

 

**disgrace #2:** me and jun @ everyone in this group chat

 

**librarian:** i want coffee now 

 

**librarian:** but i’ll have to go with someone and no one will come with me

 

**treegyu:** @ me next time babe

 

**treegyu:** let’s go

 

**Hamster Mother:** did

 

**Hamster Mother:** that just happen???

 

**kitkat chunky:** omg otp goals

 

**MJ:**

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** r u fucking with us

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** u and kihyun r goals mkay

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** like as soon as we finish practicing

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** kihyun will run up to changkyun

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** and like, idk, make sure he isn’t dying??

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** but it’s so sweet??

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** changkyun will backhug kihyun while hes cooking and kiss him

 

**Chinese Herb:** can confirm

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** we cant watch movies without them cuddling

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** kihyun likes to feed changkyun 

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** its so cute

 

**Chinese Herb:** it rly is

 

**Grammar Police:**

 

 

**dead meme:** omg kyungsoo r u alright

 

**dead meme:** lemme check ur temperture 

 

**dead:** why do i hear muffled whimpers

 

**Grammar Police:** *Temperature

 

**gucciflipflops:** chanyeol is dead can confirm

 

**guccigflipflops:** chanyeol is passed out whiel kyungsoo sits on his stomach texting

 

**Grammar Police:** You have 5 seconds to run before you’re next :)

 

**gucciflipflops:**

 

**dead:** all i see is tao running lmao

 

**alien:** why is jimin laughing and jungkookie crying?

 

**Jamless:** WHO DOESN’T HAVE JAMS NOW, BITCH

 

**Maknae** **(✿´‿`):**

****

 


	5. what's an exo

_ #THANKYOUSISTAR _

 

**FLUFF:** -problem-

 

**FLUFF:** i lost coco

 

**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** WHAT

 

**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** YOU LOST MY CHILD??

 

**FLUFF:** maybe…

 

**Dad o-O:** relax 

 

**Dad o-O:** i have coco

 

**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** THATS EVEN WORSE

 

**Dad o-O:** ow

 

**Dad o-O:** that hurt

 

**Dad o-O:** ur not my favorite anymore

 

**Mother:** that’s gonna last an hour

 

**Dad o-O:** stfu

 

**Small Mother:** language

 

**Dad o-O:** im older than you

 

**Small Mother:** im a mom

 

**Small Mother:** your point?

 

**brrr rambo:** OWBHWET JISO FU K

 

**rosé to your thorns:** i hear screaming

 

**Cool Mother:** children pls

 

**brrr rambo:** JIS O IS TRY N TWO EAT ME

 

**rosé to your thorns:** o god

 

**jisooschrist:** IF YOU’RE GONNA USE THE LORD’S NAME, CAPITALIZE IT 

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** o shit he mad

 

**disgrace #1:** so were u yesterday

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** stfu

 

* * *

 

_ #THANKYOUSISTAR _

**Mother:** Someone please tell me why Jackson is crying

 

**FLUFF:** he’s crying over twice

 

**FLUFF:** and their new song

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** omg thanks

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** but we’re having a similar problem

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** i hear someone, i don’t know who, crying over so far away

 

**Agust D:** which version?

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** the one that was recently released

 

**Handsome Mother:** the one with me

 

**4dddd:** who wouldn’t cry??

 

**4dddd:** it’s in my crying playlist :PP

 

**Cool Mother:** crying playlist?

 

**4dddd:** sometimes i just need to cry

 

**4dddd:** but i cant

 

**4dddd:** so those songs help me along

 

**EOPSEO:** that’s depressing

 

**EOPSEO:** im emo now

 

_ dabdab changed EOPSEO’s name to emo _

 

**emo:** eh

 

**emo:** whatever

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** let’s chill with the depressing shit 

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** chan looks like hes gonna cry

 

**crygyu:** i might cry 

 

**crygyu:** if miNGHAO DOESNT STOP BLASTING GOT7

 

**Chinese Herb:**

**librarian:** ffs 

 

**librarian:** shut up

 

**librarian:** im trying to read

 

**10:10:** loser

 

**librarian:** you're one to talk 

 

**librarian:** at least I don't have a shrine dedicated to shinee

 

**10:10:**

 

**librarian:** fuck off hamster

 

**Hamster Mother:** excuse you

 

**librarian:** im leaving 

 

_ librarian has left the chat _

 

**crygyu:** great 

 

**crygyu:** now you made him mad

 

**Hamster Mother:** whatever

 

* * *

 

_ #THANKYOUSISTAR _

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** LMAO

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** JUNGYEON IS CRYING

 

**Momma Twice:** What the hell did you do!?

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** _ I _ didn’t do anything

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** It was Tzuyu

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** Lies

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** You showed her the video!

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** But it wasn’t the video,  _ it was who was in it _

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** More specifically, their hair

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** *looks at baekhyun*

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** *looks at baekhyun*

 

**bb for days bro:** wat

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:** don’t try to act

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** we all know you know

 

**Barney:** r they talking about wat i think they are??

 

**Innocent ♥‿♥:**

**Taiwanese Princess:** at the sheer SIGHT of his hair, jungyeon burst into tears

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** she liked the colors…. But….

 

**jisooschrist:** is

 

**rosé to your thorns:** that

 

**FLUFF:** a

 

**rapgod:** fucking

 

**kitkat chunky:** mullet??

 

**crygyu:** wow it’s like they planned it

 

**kitkat chunky:** stfu “crygyu”

 

**crygyu:** you wanna fight

 

**kitkat chunky:** lets go

 

**Hamster Mother:** changkyun pls

 

**Grandma:** fighting aside, is that a mullet?

 

**bb for days bro:** that’s classified 

 

**Grammar Police:** For once he spelled something right.

 

**Momma Twice:** ANYWAYS   
  


**Momma Twice:** the last couple of days have been nice

 

**Momma Twice:** Red Velvet’s mini album

 

**Momma Twice:** Exo’s teasers

 

**Momma Twice:** Jungyeon crying

 

**givememorelines:** youre cruel

 

**Momma Twice:** yes, I pride myself in that

 

**4dddd:** WAIT

 

**4dddd:** we haven’t talked about the best part

 

**4dddd:** chanyeol’s rainbow hair??

 

**dead meme:**

**Barney:** a member of girl group acknowledged him

 

**bb for days bro:** he sounds like a dying cow

 

**Rich Mother:** WHO THE HELL IS DYING IN THE DORMS

 

**^-^minnie^-^:** example a of why we can’t have nice things

 

**dead:** actually tho

 

**Grammar Police:** now shut up, I’m tired

 

**dead meme:** it’s noon

 

**Grammar Police:** fuck off

 

**Barney:** the dying cow noises have been replaced with screams wtf

 

**Grammar Police:**

 

**gucciflipflops:** HOLY FUCK

 

_ Jongin changed their name to RUNNING _

 

**RUNNING:** GO GO GOG GO

 

**Momma Twice:** ??

 

**Handsome Mother:** what now

 

**gucciflipsflops:** KYUNGSOO I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU

 

**gucciflipflops:** I WAS WRONG

 

**gucciflipflops:** FUEID WIEIDBWKW WH AY

 

**RUNNING:** TAO NO

 

**RUNNING:** KYUNGSOO GOT HIM

 

**Daddy:** who THE FUCK is running around 

 

**Daddy:** you woke me up

 

**Taller:** other maknae

 

**Taller:** not me

 

**RUNNING:** KYUNGSOO IS CHASING ME

 

**Grammar Police:** I was chasing you until you slammed the bathroom door in my face.

 

**RUNNING:** ffs 

 

**RUNNING:** I can expose you

 

**disgrace #1:** I heard expose??

 

**disgrace #2:** stfu

 

**disgrace #2:** I'm invested

 

**RUNNING:** _ sent an image  _

 

**4dddd:** LISA JUST SPAT OUT HER DRINK LMAO

 

**brrr rambo** : WTF IS THAT

 

_ bb for days bro changed the chat name to CHANSOO CONFIRMED 2K17?? _

 

**Rich Mother:** WHO JUST FUCKING SHRIEKED

 

**Ballerina:** ??

 

**RUNNING:** _ sent an audio file _

 

**dabdab:** is that a pterodactyl

 

**emo:** damn

 

**RUNNING:** that's Kyungsoo 

 

 **bb** **for days bro:** i mean 

 

**bb for days bro:** if someone sent a picture of me making out with chanyeol into a group chat with over 50 people in it id scream too

 

**RUNNING:**  w HATE THE FUKK HE S FBANIFN ON THE RDOR

 

**Taller:** NO JONGIN

 

**Unicorn :3:** why is an animal being mauled??

 

**Handsome Mother:** the bts dorm is empty, you can hide there

 

**gucciflipflops:** what’s an exo

  
**gucciflipflops:** i only know bts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bit short, sorry :/ I have an instagram if you want to follow, my username is icecoldignorance   
> Have a lovely day (or night)!


	6. save the maknae plz

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for over 100 kudos!! I never thought that one of my fics would reach that many kudos at all  
> hope you enjoy this chapter!

_ CHANSOO CONFIRMED 2K17?? _

 

**Small Mother:** send help

 

**Small Mother:** minhyuk and dongmin are fighting

 

**moon:** ugh

 

**moon:** i asked who ate my food 

 

**moon:** and they start accusing each other

 

**MJ:** they’re dumb

 

**MJ:** and so are you bin

 

**moon:** ??

 

**MJ:** YOU’RE THE ONE THAT ATE YOUR FOOD

 

**moon:** oh

 

**Maknae (✿´‿`):** can someone tell them to stop? Please?

 

**Small Mother:** that job belongs to you, bin

 

**moon:** right

 

**Visual King:** well damn you didn’t have to be so rough

 

**sha sha sha:** that’s what she said

 

**Jamless:**

**Sha sha sha:**

****

 

**Rich Mother:** don’t bring me into this

 

**sha sha sha:** too late

 

**rock:** bin

 

**rock:** where r u?

 

**moon:** room

 

**moon:** why?

 

**rock:** youll see ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

**MJ:** COVER THE MAKNAE’S EARS

 

**Maknae (✿´‿`):**

 

**Small Mother:** dont ruin him

 

**Small Mother:** pls

 

**Golden Maknae:** if youre in this gc

 

**Golden Maknae:** you dont stay innocent for very long

 

**Maknae (✿´‿`):**

 

**whatvisual:** is that me

 

**Maknae (✿´‿`):** yes

 

**MJ:** evacuate the dorm

 

**MJ:** i hear noises

 

**Small Mother:** already done

 

* * *

 

_ hwimorachineun sungan _

 

**rosé to your thorns:** who’s hype for exo’s comeback

 

**brrr rambo:** us

 

**4dddd:** honestly

 

**4dddd:** after watching the teasers

 

**4dddd:** their hairstyles are okay

 

**brrr rambo:** jongdae’s is the best

 

**rosé to your thorns:** tru

 

**4dddd:** but the songs

 

**Cool Mother:** ARE AMAZING

 

**rosé to your thorns:** i cant wait

 

**Brrr rambo:**

**Brrr rambo:**

****

 

**Cool Mother:** we’re freaking out over Sehun

 

**Cool Mother:** but in reality,

 

**Cool Mother:** we’ve insulted him so much in the gc

 

**rosé to your thorns:** idk what ur talking about

 

**Cool Mother:** lies

 

* * *

 

_ CHANSOO CONFIRMED 2K17?? _

 

**rapgod:**

 

**Taller:** why is there a picture of me

 

**Divaboo:** hansol??

 

**rapgod:** _ glo up _

 

**rapgod:**

 

**Taller:** oml

 

**Taller:** you cant speak

 

**Taller:**

****

 

**Daddy:** stop it

 

**Divaboo:**

 

**Divaboo:** **_glo up_ **

 

**Divaboo:**

 

**Taller:** ohmygod

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** why’d you say that

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** where’s jisoos

 

**jisooschrist:**

 

**Grammar Police:** i stg

 

**10:10:**

 

**smol producer:** i want to die

 

**Agust D:** agreed

 

**wangwang:** ^

 

**Mother:** ^

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:**

 

**librarian:** my eyes just rolled so far back into my head

 

**Dance Monster:** time is an illusion 

 

**Handsome Mother:** i want a divorce

 

**Jamless:** dadless

 

**alien:** that’s  unfortunate

 

**Golden Maknae:** tbh

 

**Golden Maknae:** not really

 

**Dance Monster:** were you ever my children?

 

**Dance Monster:** jin didn’t birth you anyways.

 

**Handsome Mother:** _ lies _

 

**Handsome Mother:** _ i pushed those kids out my vagina _

 

**Taiwanese Princess:** you have a vagina ??

 

**Agust D:** no he doesn’t

 

**Handsome Mother:** yes i do

 

**smol producer:** Where’s the proof?

 

**Handsome Mother:** do i need proof?

 

**disgrace #1:** yes

 

**dabdab:** kinda

 

**Chinese Herb:** probably

 

**Teddy Bear:** yea

 

**Handsome Mother:**

****

 

**Handsome Mother:** i am a mother

 

**Handsome Mother:** i don’t need to prove myself

 

**Jamless:** you kinda have to

 

_ Handsome Mother kicked Jamless from the chat _

 

**Handsome Mother:** i only have 4 children

 

**Agust D:** *3 I am gramps

 

_ brrr rambo changed Agust D’s name to Gramps _

 

**Grandma:** lmao

 

**Gramps:** this is awkward

 

**Grandma:** no shit

 

**dead meme:** someone add jimin back he’s spamming me

 

**dead meme:** you could say he was  _ jamming  _ me

 

**Grammar Police:** stab me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well that happened. I'm really bitter right now because I could've seen Monsta X in Atlanta today but i didn't have enough money :(  
> Also, I'm super excited for exo's comeback!! and jjp's! This Friday I'm going to see valerian and the city of a thousand planets with a close friend so i might twist that into the next chapter because if you didn't know, Yifan is acting in that movie :P   
> If you have any suggestions for ships/what should happen in future chapters, I'm always open to suggestions!   
> Until next time :)


	7. Update!

This is just a quick update, not an actual chapter, sorry :( I'm going somewhere for about 2 weeks where I won't be able to update at all, so no new chapters :( I'll try to upload as soon as I get back though!


	8. a failed attempt at control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jeonghan tries to control his family and it doesn't work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Sorry it was a bit late, I was dragged to a relative's house for no reason. This chapter is Seventeen centered, enjoy!

_ jisoos and the 12 disciples  _

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** morning kiddos!

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** get your ass up now before i smack the shit out of you

 

**10:10:** what the  _ fuck _

 

**10:10:** it is literally 6am

 

**10:10:** on our free day

 

**10:10:** let us sleep

 

**smol producer:** please

 

**Unfortunate Mother:**

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** today is forced family fun

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** i have the whole day planned out and you can’t stop me

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** first thing, an actual breakfast where we eat and bond

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** mingyu’s screams will haunt my memory

 

**crygyu:** why the fUCK DO YOU FEEL THE NEED TO DRAG ME OUT OF BED FOR THIS

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** make food slave

 

**disgrace #1:**

****  


 

_ Unfortunate Mother has kicked disgrace #1 from the chat _

 

**s.soups:** family bonding

 

_ s.soups has added disgrace #1 to the chat _

 

**s.soups:** aka tolerating their shit

 

**disgrace #1:** thanks daddy

 

_ s.soups has kicked disgrace #1 from the chat _

 

**10:10:** you spoke too soon

 

**s.soups:** yea

 

**disgrace #2:** i just walked into the kitchen to see jeonghan hit mingyu over the head with a flip flop

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** abuse

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** i don’t feel comfortable here :(

 

**jisooschrist:** it’s okay chan, just come find me if you need anything

 

**Divaboo:** who’s cutting onions

 

**smile master:** plz fess up

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** oh boo hoo jisoo likes kids

 

**librarian:**

****

 

**librarian:** heartless much

 

**rapgod:** i just saw jisoo holding chan bye

 

**divaboo:** IM SOBBINFG

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** it cant be that cu

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** nvm

 

**librarian:** jihoon get ur man

 

**smol producer:** shut it

 

**10:10:** RRET RTY Y UIUY EWGQYGFO U

 

**smol producer:** i dont want him anymore

 

**smol producer:** choreographer for sale

 

**smol producer:** nvm he’s free

 

**10:10:** i h8 u

 

**smol producer:** ily 2 <333

 

**divaboo:** ….

 

**smile master:** r u okay...??

 

**smol producer:** sure

 

**s.soups:**

****

 

**smol producer:** no one asked, seungcheol

 

**s.soups:**

 

_ s.soups has left the chat _

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** ffs

 

* * *

 

_ Jisoos and the 12 disciples  _

 

**jisooschrist:** someone add seungcheol back

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** no

 

**jisooschrist:** please

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** why

 

**jisooschrist:** hes hurting me

 

**Unfortunate Mother:**

****

 

_ Unfortunate Mother has added s.soups to the group _

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** hands off

 

* * *

 

_ Jisoos and the 12 disciples _

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** minghoe get your flat ass in here for breakfast you carton of spoiled milk

 

**disgrace #2:**

****

 

**Disgrace #2:** why would u say that

 

**disgrace #1:**

 

**disgrace #1:** _ flat ass?? _

 

**disgrace #1:** you’re blind.

 

**librarian:** o damn

 

**librarian:** you made him so mad he used punctuation

 

**crygyu:** im not even going to ask why minghao is crying while jun is cradling him in his arms while groping his ass

 

**10:10:** get a fucking room u soggy breadsticks

 

**jisooschrist:** get off me  jeonghan

 

**smile master:** no dick sucking in the living room plz

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:**

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** we’re eating now

 

**Unfortunate Mother:** if you dont eat breakfast youre gonna get whipped

 

_ disgrace #2 changed Unfortunate Mother’s name to Mr. Kinky _

 

**Mr. Kinky:** just eat

* * *

 

 

_ Jisoos and the 12 disciples _

 

**Mr. Kinky:** kids

 

**Mr. Kinky:** family meeting

 

**10:10:** ??

 

**Mr. Kinky:** *clears throat*

 

**disgrace #2:** roleplay?

 

**Mr. Kinky:** no

 

**Mr. Kinky:**

**┏┓**

**┃┃╱╲ in this**

**┃╱╱╲╲ house**

**╱╱╭╮╲╲ we**

**▔▏┗┛▕▔ appreciate**

**╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲**

**joshua hong**

**╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲**

**▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔**

 

**s.soups:** fuck yes

 

**s.soups:** jisoo appreciation

 

_ michael jackson enthusiast changed the chat name to hong jisoo fan club _

 

**disgrace #1:** fukkk hes so pretty

 

**disgrace #2:** rly tho

 

**Crygyu:**

 

**Mr. Kinky:** his eyes r so pretty

 

**Mr. Kinky:** when i see him i want to thank the lord for blessing me with his presence

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** he’s always there for me

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** even when he’s in the middle of something

 

**librarian:** he once gave me a hug because my eyes were watering

 

**librarian:** even though i had just yawned

 

**smile master:** he always compliments me on my vocals

 

**Mr. Kinky:**

 

**Mr. Kinky:** i love him so much. when he smiles the world lights up he can do anything n his vocals r so prety ily jisoo u play guitar so well

 

**jisooschrist:** im actually crying u all r too much

 

**disgrace #1:** we arent done

 

**disgrace #1:** u come from another country

 

**disgrace #1:** like me and minghao

 

**disgrace #1:** and you were there for me when i was struggling with my korean

 

**disgrace #2:** we both thank you for that  

 

**rapgod:** you listened to my mixtape when no one else would

 

**rapgod:** & ur my american friend

 

**Mr. Kinky:** now ill suck ur dick

 

_ michael jackson enthusiast changed the chat name to sin _

 

**jisooschrist:** too far

 

**Mr. Kinky:** ill admit my mistakes

 

**jisooschrist:** ♥

 

**Mr. Kinky:** ♥

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:**

****

 

**s.soups:** who am i, the next door neighbor?

 

**Mr. Kinky:** yes.

 

**10:10:** ow

 

_ Jisooschrist has named the chat to Relatively Happy Family _

 

**s.soups:** where do i lie on this family tree

 

**Mr. Kinky:** dad with dual custody 

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** jisoo just looked at his phone and then snorted

 

**Divaboo:** headlines ur needed in the living room

 

**rapgod:** what now

 

**Divaboo:** idk mingyu wants u

 

**librarian:** does he actually respond to that

 

**rapgod:** only to boo

 

**smile master:** verkwan is real

 

**Divaboo:** who said it wasn’t??

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I discovered today that I am the same height as Kim Minseok and now I'm scared for my life because I'm still growing  
> Also, I might start a series of oneshots, so be on the lookout for that


	9. NCT gets thrown in but in the wrong way (send help to the seventeen dorms)

_Dab on it_

 

 **crygyu:** anyone free today??

 

 **brrr rambo:** sadly no :(

 

 **rosé to your thorns:** ^^

 

 **Momma Twice:** yes, but our members planned something today

 

 **Ballerina:** all day

 

 **disgrace #2:** are we not enough for you, mingyu?

 

 **smile master:** im sorry mingyu (╥_╥)

 

 **crygyu:** no no its not that

 

 **crygyu:** i wanted to see if we could get some other 97 liners to go out with us

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** ily mingyu but i dont feel that way about you

 

 **crygyu:** shut up jaehyun

 

 **minmin** : so rood

 

 **ihave9gfs:** ^^

 

 **crygyu:** what is it, attack mingyu day?

 

 **Golden Maknae:** hah i wish

 

 **ihave9gfs:** regarding ur first question, me and minkyung r free

 

 **crygyu:** awesome

 

 **crygyu:** anyone else?

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** i may be, taeyong might not let me be free

 

 **crygyu:** yeah i dont think he will

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:**??

 

 **crygyu:** haah about that

 

 **crygyu:** jun kidnapped chenle

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** W H A T

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** im coming over now

 

 **smile master:** srry bout this

 

 **disgrace #2:** we can explain

 

 **crygyu:** oooo thats why you were quiet

 

 **crygyu:** you helped jun

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** HOW COULD YOU

 

 **disgrace #2:** i didn’t !!

 

 **disgrace #2:** are you just saying that because im chinese

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** yea, i am

 

 **limitless was a mistake:** CHENLE

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** o thank god ur here

 

 **limitless was a mistake:** jun took him??

 

 **limitless was a mistake:** imma beat his ass

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** language innocent child

 

**limitless was a mistake:**

**ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** ow

 

 **ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** anyways we gotta figure out how to get chenle back

 

* * *

 

_CHANSOO CONFIRMED 2K17??_

 

_Dead meme changed the chat name to ROLL LIKE A BUFFALO_

 

 **Daddy:** fuck you

 

* * *

 

_ROLL LIKE A BUFFALO_

 

 **crygyu:** i was asked to do this by a friend..

 

 **crygyu:** sorry

 

_Crygyu added Kinky Mother_

 

 **Kinky Mother:** Thank you Mingyu

 

 **Handsome Mother:** new phone who dis

 

 **Rich Mother:** oh no

 

 **Kinky Mother:** Hi Junmyeon

 

 **Kinky Mother:** I would just like to say a couple of words to Seventeen.

 

 **Mr. Kinky:** fuck

 

 **Kinky Mother:** We know you took Chenle.

 

 **Kinky Mother:** We will get him back, using necessary means.

 

 **Kinky Mother:** _Seventeen,_

 

 **Kinky Mother:** _You’re not the biggest group in the industry anymore._

 

 **Kinky Mother:** _Give Chenle back or suffer._

 

 **Mr. Kinky:** fucK JUN GIVE HIM BACK

 

 **disgrace #1:** no can do, sorry. He’s mine now

 

 **disgrace #2:** jun,,, to stop the war before it starts, you have to give him back

 

 **disgrace #1:** ive already grown attached its too late

 

 **Kinky Mother:** See you soon.

 

_Kinky Mother has left the chat_

 

 **Mr. Kinky:** JUN WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

 

 **Mr. Kinky:** YOUVE BROUGHT A CURSE UPON OUR FAMILY

 

* * *

 

_Relatively Happy Family_

 

 **s.soups:** alright kids

 

 **s.soups:** since we’re being threatened by a _large_ enemy

 

 **s.soups:** the grown ups have formulated a plan

 

 **smol producer:** grown ups my ass

 

 **10:10:** ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

 

 **smol producer:** soonyoung no

 

 **s.soups:** anyways!

 

 **s.soups:** ill take one group, jeonghan will take another, and jisoo will take the babies

 

 **Divaboo:** … why is babies plural

 

 **Jisooschrist:** he means the younger members

 

 **rapgod:** we’re not babies

 

 **rapgod:** you’re just old

 

**Disgrace #1:**

**Disgrace #2:** shut up

 

 **Divaboo:** i smell drama

 

 **S.soups:** my group will be on the offensive, hiphop unit & soonyoung

 

 **Mr. Kinky:** my group is defensive, vocal unit, minus seungkwan

 

 **Disgrace #2:** what about me?

 

 **s.soups:** you and jun will protect chenle.

 

 **Disgrace #2:** hell no

 

 **Disgrace #2:** im not hiding with _him_

 

 **Disgrace #1:** i didn’t mean what i said earlier

 

 **Disgrace #2:** yes you did

 

_Disgrace #2 has left the chat_

 

_Disgrace #1 has left the chat_

 

 **crygyu:** someone explain plz

 

 **librarian:** they had this big argument earlier. Minghao wanted Jun to just give Chenle back because SM could sue Pledis and Pledis is broke, but Jun put Chenle over him and the company and Minghao was pissed

 

 **crygyu:** oh

 

 **crygyu:** thats so sad

 

 **smile master:** they’re here

 

 **10:10:** fuck

 

 **smol producer:** it’s taeyong

 

 **smol producer:** RUN

 

 **jisooschrist:** jeonghan…

 

 **s.soups:** he’s gone jisoo

 

 **jisooschrist:** …

 

 **s.soups:** take the babies and run

 

 **michael jackson enthusiast:** what happened to jeonghan?

 

 **jisooschrist:** not now

 

 **10:10:** WONWOO

 

 **crygyu:** FUCKING JAEHYUN

 

* * *

 

_Relatively Happy Family_

 

 **crygyu:** minghao is hurt…

 

 **crygyu:** he’s on his deathbed..

 

 **librarian:** where’s jun?

 

 **10:10:** crying somewhere

 

l **ibrarian:** go get him

 

 **librarian:** minghoe wants him

 

 **smol producer:** unsurprising

 

 **Divaboo:** i just vomited a little in my mouth

 

 **rapgod:** we all know you enjoy watching it

 

 **smol producer:** taken out of context, that sounds disgusting.

 

 **Divaboo:** thankS FOR SEXUALIZING EVERYTHING

 

 **smol producer:** smh

 

 **10:10:** do i need to take your tempature jihoon

 

 **smol producer:** fuck off

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a list of all the names as a refresher! Just in case :)
> 
> Mark Tuan - FLUFF  
> Im Jaebum, - Dad o-O  
> Jackson Wang, - wangwang  
> Park Jinyoung, Mother  
> Choi Youngjae, - sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧  
> Kunpimook Bhuwakul, - dabdab  
> Kim Yugyeom, - emo  
> Kim Seokjin, - Handsome Mother  
> Kim Namjoon, - dance monster  
> Min Yoongi, - Gramps  
> Jung Hoseok, - imyourangel  
> Park Jimin, - Jamless  
> Kim Taehyung, - alien  
> Jeon Jungkook, - Golden Maknae  
> Kim Minseok, - ^-^minnie^-^  
> Lu Han, - dead  
> Wu Yifan, - Daddy  
> Kim Junmyeon, - Rich Mother  
> Park Chanyeol, - dead meme  
> Do Kyungsoo, - Grammar Police  
> Zhang Yixing, - Unicorns :3  
> Huang Zitao, - gucciflipflops  
> Kim Jongdae, - Barney  
> Byun Baekhyun, - bb for days bro  
> Kim Jongin, - RUNNING  
> Oh Sehun, - Taller  
> Im Nayeon, - Grandma  
> Minatozaki Sana, - sha sha sha  
> Park Jisoo (Jihyo), - Momma Twice  
> Myoui Mina, - Ballerina  
> Son Chaeyoung, - Innocent ♥‿♥  
> Chou Tzuyu, - Taiwanese Princess  
> Hirai Momo, - Dancing Queen  
> Yoo Jungyeon, - givememorelines  
> Kim Dahyun, - Rap God  
> Kim Jisoo (Blackpink), - 4dddd  
> Jennie Kim, - Cool Mother  
> Park Chaeyoung, - rosé to your thorns  
> Lalisa Manoban, - brrr rambo  
> Choi Seungcheol, - s.soups  
> Hong Jisoo (Seventeen), - jisooschrist  
> Yoon Jeonghan, - Mr. Kinky  
> Jeon Wonwoo, - librarian  
> Kim Mingyu, - crygyu  
> Kwon Soonyoung, - 10:10  
> Lee Chan, - michael jackson enthusiast  
> Boo Seungkwan, - divaboo  
> Choi Hansol, - rapgod  
> Xu Minghao, - disgrace #2  
> Lee Jihoon, - smol producer  
> Wen Junhui, - disgrace #1  
> Lee Seokmin, - smile master  
> Yoon Sanha, - Maknae (✿´‿`)  
> Park Minhyuk (Astro), - rock  
> Moon Bin, - moon  
> Lee Dongmin, - Visual King  
> Park Jinwoo, - Small Mother  
> Kim Myungjun, - MJ  
> Shin Hoseok, - Ramen  
> Lee Jooheon, - Spitting Fire & Aegyo  
> Son Hyungwoo, - Teddy Bear  
> Yoo Kihyun, - Hamster Mother  
> Lee Minhyuk (Monsta X), - Chinese Herb  
> Lim Changkyun, - kitkat chunky  
> Chae Hyungwon - whatvisual

_The Dad Squad_ _™_

 

 **Daddy:** hey

 

 **Dad o-O:** hi

 

 **givememorelines:** Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper? Never mind... it's tearable.

 

**dance monster:**

 

 **s.soups:** What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y.

 

 **Teddy Bear:** lol

 

 **Dad o-O:** I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

 

**4dddd:**

****

 

 **MJ:** Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece.

 

 **dance monster:** If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?

 

 **Daddy:** What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1

 

 **givememorelines:** lmao

 

* * *

 

_ROLL LIKE A BUFFALO_

 

 **crygyu:** I LIKE

 

 **Divaboo:** DUDUDUDUDUDUDUDU

 

 **smile master:** WE LIKE

 

 **10:10:** DUDUDUDUDUDUDUDU

 

 **Ballerina:** Ah. They return.

 

 **Grandma:**??

 

 **Ballerina:** Pristin’s personal hype team.

 

 **smol producer:** so that’s what they call it?

 

 **Mr. Kinky:** someone add siyeon to the chat

 

_jisooschrist added swaggy-baggy to the chat_

 

 **swaggy-baggy:** y O

 

 **10:10:** PA

 

 **crygyu:** RK

 

 **Divaboo:** SI

 

 **smile master:** YEON

 

 **swaggy-baggy:** aYo

 

 **swaggy-baggy:** the hype team appears

 

 **swaggy-baggy:** pledis fam

 

 **s.soups:** may I introduce, pristin’s very own, Siyeon

 

 **swaggy-baggy:** there’s some srsly famous ppl here…

 

 **Grammar Police:** Please never use “srsly” and “ppl” ever again.

 

 **swaggy-baggy:** o h… okay..

 

_swaggy-baggy has left the chat_

 

 **dead:** KYUNGSOO

 

 **Grammar Police:** Luhan.

 

 **dead:** YOU SCARED HER OFF

 

 **Grammar Police:** I was simply doing my job.

 

 **dead meme:** well maybe you should retire

 

**Handsome Mother:**

****

 

 **kitkat chunky:** kihyun just fell out of his chair lmaO

 

 **Hamster Mother:** listen here u soggy piece of toast

 

 **wangwang:** ouch

 

 **crygyu:** am i the only one that cares about everyone’s sanity

 

**whatvisual:**

 

 **crygyu:** …

 

 **Barney:** Day 31, I still haven’t escaped this fucking gc

 

 **rock:** ew people

 

 **moon:** u of all people

 

_rock has kicked moon from the chat_

 

**Visual King:**

 

 **Mother:** whAT THE FUCK

 

**sha sha sha:**

 

**jisooschrist:**

 

 **taller:** calm ur tiddes

 

**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:**

****

 

 **RUNNING:** fair enough

 

* * *

 

_ROLL LIKE A BUFFALO_

 

 **gucciflipflops:** you all wanna see god??

 

**gucciflipflops:**

 

**bb for days bro:**

****

 

**Barney:**

 

**Unicorns :3:**

 

 **rosé to your thorns:** are we just communicating via photos?

 

 **brrr rambo:** yes

 

 **rosé to your thorns:** in that case….

 

_rosé to your thorns has left the chat_

 

 **Cool Mother:** Thanks guys

 

* * *

 

_IM 7 OUT_

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** who put cucumbers in my bed???

 

 **dabdab:** yeah yugyeom

 

 **emo:** idk what you’re talking about

 

 **Mother:** he’s with me

 

 **Mother:** he’s been with me all day

 

 **Dad o-O:** everyone has been out all day

 

 **Dad o-O:** so no one could’ve but it in there

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** ghosts

 

 **wangwang:** there’s no ghosts

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** GHOSTS   


**FLUFF:** …   


* * *

 

_dabdab created a chat with 5 others_

 

_dabdab named the chat fuck with youngjae squad_

 

 **Mother:** no.

 

 **dabdab:**??

 

 **Mother:**  we are not the “fuck with youngjae squad”

 

 **Mother:** he’s scared enough as it is

 

 **Dad o-O:** I agree with Jinyoung for once

 

 **dabdab:** smh strict parents

 

 **emo:** tru

 

 **dabdab:** plz? harmless acts..

 

 **Mother:** if the deed makes him cling to me at night, you’ve gone too far

 

 **emo:** we won’t go too far

 

 **dabdab:** okay here’s the plan…

 

* * *

 

 _IM 7 OUT_   


**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** Has anyone seen Yugyeom’s phone? He says he can’t find it

 

**emo: ỵ̶̡̪̫͖̼͉͈̣̙̍̒̐͐̎ǫ̡̡̜͍̠͖͕̖̓͊̆̉̽͑̅̕͘͜͠û̸̧̧̮̗̬͖̱̭̈́̅͊̇͘͢n̶͍̼̱̫̘͉̬̊͂͋̋͛̚͞g̝̞͙̻̻͉͊̔͂̉̏͒̾͢͡͡j̵̡̧̛̹̻̩̮̘̤̔̓̌͗͜͟͠a̴̪̰͇̩̪̼͎̙͔̽̈́̋̉͞e͖͔̯̖̤̺͎̦͋̔̆̽͝ r̵̦͕̝͖̲̿͒̀̒͆̋͘͝͠ͅų̷̘͇̘̰̫͙͗̈̈́̉̋͜ń̵̟͙͖̱͎̦͚͆̊͑̎̇ͅ ẅ̬̦̤̤̻̠́͐͊́̐͊̉͊̓ḫ̶̢̗̫̥̇̌̀̀͊̒͑i̷̛̬͖̬̭̗̩̔̒̈́̓̌̒̔͢͞l̵̡̛̪͚̤̻̳̬̳̞̆͗͆̅̓̋͘͜͞ȩ͎͔̪͖̱͕̝̌̇͋̈̇͜͡ y̢͎̖̲̮̩͐̄̒̔̓̋͒ͅọ̘̣̪̝͉͇̅̇͛͋̆̾̓̎u̴̼̬͇̯̇̓͐̐̇̅̍͟͜ c̷̫̰̝̥̠̗̻̒̓͛̈́̈́̏̆̚a̫̥͈͍͚͕̬͎̋̓͗̈́̽̏͑̕ń̸̢̨̨̛̛̮̳̯̲̗̮͉͐̌̀̍̈́**

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** uhhh guys did you see that?

 

 **FLUFF:** see what?

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** what yugyeom typed in the chat

 

 **dabdab:** doesn’t he not have his phone?

 

 **wangwang:** i didn’t see anything

 

 **FLUFF:**  ^^^

 

 **Mother:** yeah

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** oh

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** okay.

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** yugyeom’s phone is haunted

 

* * *

 

_free food_

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** did you hear that

 

 **Dad o-O:** hear what

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** that scream

 

 **Dad o-O:** probably just yugyeom and bambam fucking around

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** didn’t sound like it

 

 **Dad o-O:** what did it sound like?

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** fear

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** can i come cuddle you?

 

 **Dad o-O:** sure

 

* * *

 

_fuck with youngjae squad_

 

 **Mother:** too far

 

 **dabdab:** wydm?

 

 **Mother:** youngjae is currently curled in jaebum’s side

 

 **Mother:** he iS FRAGILE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm starting to stan Pristin, so I might add them, maybe not. I'm preordering Power of Music and I'm super excited!! I hope all my fellow Exo-Ls enjoy the repackaged album as much as I do


	11. kihyun got dem receipts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHOS BACK, BACK AGAIN  
> It's been over a decade but I'm back. I've been drowning with school work and I just never had time to write :(  
> Hopefully, I'll be able to update quicker next time!  
> This chapter is Got7 and Monsta X centered, enjoy!

_Gotx_

 

 **Mother:** has anyone seen yugyeom?

 

 **dabdab:** my hubby??

 

 **dabdab:** yea

 

 **Ramen:** hubby..?

 

 **Hamster Mother:** don’t ever say that again

 

 **Mother:** where is he?

 

 **Mother:** if you two are cud-

 

 **dabdab:** wrapped around me

 

**Mother:**

 

 **kitkat chunky:** *ke$ha voice* this place about to blow

 

 **Mother:** YOU DONT HAVE TO RUB IT IN THAT YOU HAVE A SUCCESSFUL, FUNCTIONAL RELATIONSHIP

 

 **dabdab:** we get it, you havent been laid in months

 

 **Mother:** run.

 

 **dabdab:** running.

 

* * *

 

_dabdab created a new chat with 12 others_

 

_dabdab named the chat Getting Jinyoung Laid 2k17_

 

 **Hamster Mother:** why

 

 **dabdab:** becausE

 

 **dabdab:** jinyoung gets pissy when hes deprived of sex

 

 **emo:** ^^

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** i dont like agreeing with you…

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** but you’re right

 

 **emo:** lets get him laid, shall we?

 

 **dabdab:** first order of business…

 

* * *

 

_Gotx_

 

 **kitkat chunky:** let’s all watch a movie together!

 

 **Hamster Mother:** okay sweetie

 

 **Ramen:** whipped

 

**Hamster Mother:**

 

 **Hamster Mother:** who asked you?

 

 **Hamster Mother:** i didnt

 

 **Ramen:** …

 

 **wangwang:** lmao

 

 **wangwang:** which movie?

 

**whatvisual:**

****

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** NO

 

 **Spitting Fire & Aegyo: **FUCK NO

 

 **Mother:** All in favor of It?

 

 **Ramen:** everyone except for jooheon and youngjae

 

 **whatvisual:** ^^^

 

 **Wangwang:** if this turns into a giant orgy it isnt my fault

 

 **Ramen:** lol fuk

 

* * *

 

_Gotx_

 

 **whatvisual:** that was a disaster

 

 **Dad o-O:** who the _fuck_ invited twice

 

 **emo:** u say that as if it was a bad thing

 

 **Dad o-O:** dahyun jumped out at jooheon yelling

 

 **Dad o-O:** “bet you didn’t expect this bitch!”

 

 **Hamster Mother:** legend says he hasnt recovered

 

 **Spitting Fire & Aegyo: **i havent you piece of shit

 

 **kitkat chunky:** well damn

 

 **wangwang:** why is there a passed out nayeon in my room

 

 **dabdab:** shes a lightweight srry

 

 **dabdab:** jungyeon will pcik her drunk ass up later ;)

 

 **wangwang:** oml

 

 **Dad o-O:** wheres mom

 

 **emo:** getting the lay of his life

 

 **Dad o-O:** with?

 

 **emo:** coco’s daddy

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** mark??

 

 **dabdab:** yeeee

 

**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:╰( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° )つ──☆*:・ﾟ friendship is magic**

 

 **sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** we’re all happy and innocent

_sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ has named the chat My Little GotX: Innocence Is Magic_

**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** any sinners will be terminated

**whatvisual:** bye then

**Ramen:**

 

_Ramen and whatvisual have left the chat_

**dabdab:** sinners

**Hamster Mother:** oh honey

**Hamster Mother:** You can’t speak

**dabdab:**???

**Hamster Mother:** On July 31st, 2017, 9:06 am, I came over to help Jinyoung make a late breakfast, because  _moms,_ and I was passing your room to use the bathroom and I heard  _moans._ Your moans to be exact.

**Hamster Mother:** On August 1st, 2017, 12:43 pm, I was visiting the Got7 dorm to stay and help Jinyoung out, since Jaebum was visiting some friends. And once again, I heard you and Yugyeom  _fucking_

**Hamster Mother:** On August 2nd, 2017, 3:07 am, you woke me AND Jackson up with your… noises.

**Hamster Mother:** On August 3rd, 2017, 6:52 am, Youngjae warned me not to leave my room via text because Yugyeom bent you over in the living room and was fucking you for the  **fucking 4th time in 4 days.**

**kitkat chunky:**

****

**wangwang:** damnnnnnnnnnn

**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:**  i remember that…

**sunshine(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧:** rip bambam

_dabdab has left the chat_

* * *

_My Little GotX: Innocence Is Magic_

**whatvisual:** what srtarts with f and enjds in uck

**Teddy Bear:** What in tarnation

* * *

 

_My Little GotX: Innocence Is Magic_

**emo:** dabdab wants revenge

**Hamster Mother:** for what?

**Hamster Mother:** rightfully exposing him?

**emo:** that sounds about right

**Hamster Mother:** he can kiss my ass

**kitkat chunky:** hey

**kitkat chunky:** that’s my job

 


	12. a wild exid has appeared ! a wild red velvet!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sick and im moving so I might be dead for the next month or so. this chapter is a bit short, but i couldn't think of anything else

_ JIRIT JIRIT JIRIT JIRIT _

 

**givememorelines:** send help

 

**Momma Twice:** nayeon?

 

**givememorelines:** ye

 

**Momma Twice:** lord have mercy…

__

* * *

 

 

_ ROLL LIKE A BUFFALO  _

 

**alien:** imma add my friends

 

**bb for days bro:** ??

 

_ alien added vanilla_chocolate_honey, redredredredredflavor and 3 more to the chat _

 

**redredredredredflavor:** wats dis

 

**Velvet Momma:** a groupchat

 

**Rich Mother:** well well well

 

**Rich Mother:** if it isn’t my favorite girl group

 

**bad_draculaaa:** i dont want to be here

 

**redredredredredflavor:** me too buddy

 

**heartbeatbeatbeat:** o shit its junmyeon

 

**Daddy:** that really says a lot about you junmyeon

 

**Rich Mother:** stfu

 

**Jamless:** friends!

 

**bad_draculaaa:** haiii jiminnnn

 

**dead meme:** red velvet!

 

**vanilla_chocolate_honey:** hi chanyeol

 

**alien:** (^w^)

 

**alien:** redredredredredflavor is yerim

 

**ailen:** Velvet Momma is joohyun

 

**ailen:** bad_draculaaa is seulgi

 

**ailen:** heartbeatbeatbeat is sooyoung

 

**ailen:** and vanilla_chocolate_honey is wendy

 

**wangwang:** i kinda wanna add exid

 

**rapgod:** do it

 

_ wangwang added EVERYBODY_KNOWS, fakemaknae and 3 others to the chat _

 

**pInK hOt:** ooooo a group chat

 

**L to the E:** who added us?

 

**wangwang:** me

 

**pInK hOt:** thanks jackson!

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** eyyy

 

**pInK hOt:** hi jooheon! Is dahyun here too?

 

**Rap God:** yup

 

**wangwang:** introduce yourself plz

 

**EVERYBODY_KNOWS:** I’m Solji, EXID’s leader :)

 

**L to the E:** I’m Hyojin 

 

**pInK hOt:** im heeyeon :DDD

 

**fakemaknae:** im hyerin

 

**realmaknae:** junghwa

 

**Barney:** send help

 

**redredredredredflavor:** what’s up?

 

**bb for days bro:** taoxing

 

**dead meme:** back at it again with the dick succ

 

**Grammar Police:** oh… i just heard it

 

**redredredredredflavor:** well

 

**redredredredredflavor:** we have to deal with joohyun eating out seulgi

 

**bad_draculaaa:** YERIM

 

**Velvet Momma:** YERIM

 

**Rich Mother:** someone go tell them to get a soundproof room

 

**Small Mother:** see, astro doesnt have to deal with this kind stuff

 

**Small Mother:** because we’re innocent

 

**moon:** *sweats*

 

**rock:** *sweats*

 

**Visual King:** r u sure about that

 

**Small Mother:** nvm 

 

* * *

 

_ myungjin isnt real but sanjin is _

 

**rock:** crisis

 

**Small Mother:** im here

 

**MJ:** whats up

 

**rock:** parents,,,

 

**rock:** bin is so tall

 

**rock:** that when i go to kiss him

 

**rock:** and im not on my toes

 

**rock:** hes too  _ tall _

 

**Small Mother:** kick his balls

 

**MJ:** break his knees

 

**rock:** i shouldnt have asked you for advice 

 

**Maknae (✿´‿`):** ^^^

* * *

_ ROLL LIKE A  _ _BUFFALO_

 

**redredredredredflavor:** so many people in this gc r so niceee

 

**Velvet Momma:** aren’t they?

 

**Rich Mother:** _ im your biggest fan _

 

**Bad_draculaaa:** astro is so sweet ^-^

 

**Rich Mother:** _ ill follow you until you love me _

 

**vanilla_chocolate_honey:** haha

 

**Rich Mother:** _ papa-paparazzi _

 

_ Daddy has kicked Rich Mother from the chat _

 

**Taller:** no sex for daddy

 

**Daddy:** no sex is better than a restraining order tbh

 

**Velvet Momma:** thanks yifan

 

**Daddy:** no problem

 

**heartbeatbeatbeat:** i was scared

 

**EVERYBODY_KNOWS:** shhh its okay baby

 

**heartbeatbeatbeat:** he’s been stalking us for months

 

**redredredredredflavor:** ive had nightmares

 

**Vanilla_chocolate_honey:** everybody go hug momma joohyun

 

**Velvet Momma:** i’m down

 

**L to the E:** i wanna have a cuddle party

 

**pInK hOt:** im on my way bby

 

* * *

 

_ ROLL LIKE A BUFFLAO _

 

**bb for days bro:** babeeee

 

**Barney:** hm?

 

**bb for days bro:** i miss your big fat cock

 

**realmaknae:** uhhhh

 

**fakemaknae:**

  
  
  


**michael jackson enthusiast:** mom

 

**michael jackson enthusiast:** cleanse my eyes plz

 

**brrr rambo:**

 

**alien:** i regret ever meeting you

 

**bb for days bro:** shit 

 

_ bb for days bro has left the chat _

 

**Daddy:** why did my children turn out like this

 

**dead:** because you’re a terrible father

 

* * *

_ ROLL LIKE A BUFFLAO _

 

**Dancing Queen:** BBKERIUM PAPAPA

 

**Dancing Queen:** RIPSEUTIGEUL MAMMAMMA

 

**Dancing Queen:** KAMERAE DAMABOLKKA YEPPEUGE

 

_ Grandma has kicked Dancing Queen from the chat _

 

**Grandma:** no one cares

 

**Ballerina:** I care,  _ bitch  _

 

_ Ballerina has kicked Grandma from the chat _

 

_ Ballerina has adding Dancing Queen to the chat _

 

**Ballerina:** fight me

 

**dead:** well damn

  
  



	13. sehun is a confirmed gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I've been gone for so long. The last two months have been hectic, since I've moved and holidays and traveling and all that stuff. My winter break is about to end, so I have midterms, so I'll be gone again :/ Sorry guys, hope you enjoy this chapter  
> Also I intend to add NCT next chapter!! I'll only do members that have debuted, so feel free to leave suggestions on usernames!

_ ROLL LIKE A BUFFALO _

 

**Spitting Fire & Aegyo: ** DRAMAMAMAMAMA HEY

 

**kitkat chunky:** plz no

 

**bad_draculaaa:** so many bops been released recently

 

**redredredredredflavor:** ya

 

**fakemaknae:** ddd, clap, crazy sexy cool, likey, dramamama

 

**realmaknae:** yup

 

**Rich Mother:** One more is about to be released

 

**Rich Mother:** @ red velvet

 

**Redredredredredflavor:** shit u rite

 

**Velvet Momma:** who added him back

 

**taller:** dad couldn’t stand not getting the dicc

 

**Daddy:** sehun i stg

 

**Grammar Police:** he’s not wrong tho

 

* * *

 

 

_ ROLL LIKE A BUFFALO _

 

_ redredredredredflavor has changed their name to PEEK A BOO _

 

**PEEK A BOO:** PEEK A BOO

 

_ bad_draculaaa has kicked PEEK A BOO from the chat _

 

**Rich Mother:** issa bop tho

 

**fakemaknae:** tru 

 

**bad_draculaaa :** shes just annoying it doesnt have anything to do with the song

 

**Rich Mother:** ah

 

_ Taller named the chat my whole family _ _ thinks im gay™  _

 

**taller:** Every time I go to dinner, seems like I get a little bit thinner

 

**dead:** here we go

 

**taller:** I'll sit down at the breakfast table, I can talk well they’re not able

 

**gucciflipflops:** o we’re able u just wont shut up

 

**taller:** When I look at them I find, there's a single question on their mind

 

**^-^minnie^-^:** ffs

 

**Taller:** I wish it could go back to the way it was

 

**Rich Mother:** nothing changed…?

 

**Taller:** It’s not easy now becausE

 

**realmaknae:** im confused

 

**Taller:** MY WHOLE FAMILY THINKS I’M GAY

 

**Ballerina:**

****

 

**EVERYBODY_KNOWS:**

 

**Moon:** okay

 

**Rock:** whats new  


 

**Taller:** I GUESS IT’S ALWAYS BEEN THAT WAY

 

**Barney:** think? we know, sweatie

 

**Taller:** Maybe it’s ‘cause of the way that I walk that makes them think I like… boys

 

**Daddy:**

****

 

**RUNNING:** true

 

**dabdab:** oh good you’re here

 

**RUNNING:** ???

 

**Taller:** Just ‘cause I’m afraid of the snow

 

**alien:** you are?

 

**Taller:** Or my favorite color is the rainbow

 

**bb for days bro:**

****

 

**Barney:** we got that

 

**Taller:** Because even my boyfriend thinks I’m gay

 

**Bb for days bro:** whAt

 

**Taller:** Just kidding heh…heh

 

**Velvet Momma:** sure

 

**Taller:** You all probably think I’m gay

 

**sha sha sha:** ye

 

**Cool Mother:** we do

 

**RUNNING:** hunnie can you come here for a moment? 

 

**Taller:** ye

 

**bb for days bro:** _ hunnie _

 

**Grammar Police:** Are we going to ignore the fact Sehun used proper grammar and punctuation?

 

**dead meme:** yes 

 

**Grammar Police:** I’m going to kill myself

 

**Barney:** please no

 

**Barney:** this family cannot cook on its own

 

**Grammar Police:** only because i love you jongdae

 

**gucciflipflops:** AWWWWWWWW

 

**bb for days bro:** stay in your fucking lane bitcH

 

**Grammar Police:** For fucks sake.

 

**Barney:** i have a manz,,,, back off 

 

**Grammar Police:** i dont want your flat ass

 

**dead meme** : he must really hate jongdaes ass

 

**dead meme:** dis bitch didnt even use proper punctuaction 

 

**Bb for days bro:** YOU BITCH

 

**Bb for days bro:** _ SAY THAT TO MY FACE ASSWIPE _

 

**Grammar Police:** I’ll pass.

 

**Barney:** noooo bby come back

 

**Bb for days bro:** hold on i gotta fight this ho

 

**Gucciflipflops:** ah, the beautiful sound of breaking glass and screaming

 

**s.soups:** SONE

 

**s.soups:** BUL

 

**s.soups:** NAL

 

**s.soups:** TTAEKKAJI

 

**s.soups:** BAKSU

 

**Divaboo:** JJAKJJAKJJAKJJAK

 

**disgrace #1:** JJAKJJAKJJAKJJAK

 

**disgrace #2:** JJAKJJAKJJAKJJAK

 

**Mr. Kinky:** JAKJJAKJJAKJJAK

 

**whatvisual:** please choke. 


	14. nct in the house

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya girl is back and thanks for 200+ kudos it means alot  
> I added NCT, so here are the usernames :)  
> Kinky Mother - Taeyoung  
> Parrot - Johnny  
> dolphin - Chenle  
> maknae on top - Jisung Pwark  
> ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl - Jaehyun  
> vroom vroom talk show - Doyoung  
> ^(OvO)^ - Taeil  
> prince of osaka - Yuta  
> panicked gay - Ten  
> foregin swagger - Mark  
> singular smol - Jeno  
> ùwú - Jungwoo  
> meomchujima bami saedorok - Donghyuck  
> nana - Jaemin  
> i can rap excuse u - Yukhei  
> singular smol 2.0 - Renjun  
> lil kun kun - Kun  
> limitess was a mistake - Sicheng

_whoop whoop whoop sobangcha_

 

**Kinky Mother:** Chenleeeee

 

**dolphin:** yea

 

**Kinky Mother:** I need you to come here

 

**Kinky Mother:** I’m proving a point

 

**dolphin:** again??

 

**dolphin:** okayyy

 

**maknae on top:** stop stealing him to prove that he’s cuter

 

**maknae on top:** im obiviously the cutest :3

 

**ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** honey no

 

**vroom vroom talk show:'**

****

 

**^(OvO)^:** im the cutest

 

**parrot:**

 

**prince of osaka:** lies

 

**panicked gay:** can we not

 

**foreign swagger:** ^^^^

 

**singular smol:** does this even matter

 

**ùwú** mom stop

 

**meomchujima bami saedorok:** mark shut up

 

**nana:** i cant find my lotion

 

**singular smol 2.0:** jeno stole your lotion

 

**nana:** bitcH

 

i **can rap, excuse u:** watch ur profanity

 

**lil kun kun:** ??

 

**limitless was a mistake:** i hate all of you

 

**prince of osaka:** even me?? :((

 

**limitless was a mistake:** especially you

 

**prince of osaka:**

****

 

* * *

 

_Appreciate Hixtape  2k18_

 

**Jamless:** Jung Hoseok i love you

 

**imyourangel:** love you 2

 

**Jamless:** wanna see something beautiful

 

**Jamless:**

 

**imyourangel:**

 

**Handsome Mother:** my son is so amazing

 

**dance mother:** *our

 

**Handsome Mother:** we’re divorced

 

**Handsome Mother:** i took custody of our children

 

**Jamless:**

****

 

**alien:**

 

**Golden Maknae:**

 

**Agust D:** shhhh

 

**Imyourangel:** i know you love me (❁´‿`❁)*✲ﾟ*

 

**Agust D:**

 

**Agust D:** sounds fake but okay

 

* * *

 

_my whole family_ _thinks im gay™_

 

_bb for days bro has changed the chat name to_ _my whole family_ _knows im gay™_

 

**bb for days bro:** we been knew

 

**bb for days bro:** anyways

 

**Rich Mother:** let me add my children

 

_Rich Mother added Kinky Mother, dolphin and 16 others to the chat_

 

**parrot:** well damn

 

**Kinky Mother:** :/

 

**panicked gay:** hmmm

 

**ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** not this gc

 

**Golden Maknae:** heyyyy jaehyunnnn

 

**ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl:** fuck no

 

_ʇsǝɹ ǝǝl ʞɹɐɯ ʇǝl has left the chat_

 

**prince of osaka:** collect ur mans

 

**vroom vroom talk show:** hell no

 

**Hamster Mother:** NCT!

 

**Kinky Mother:** Monsta X!

 

**Hamster Mother:** Touch is a bop

 

**Kinky Mother:** Jealousy is a bop ;)

 

**kitkat chunky:** taeyong,,,,

 

**kitkat chunky:** turn on ur location i just wanna talk

 

**Kinky Mother:** gotta blast

  
**kitkat chunky:** >:)

**Author's Note:**

> Along with this fic, I'll be posting oneshots for most of these fandoms, so be on the lookout ;)  
> follow me on twitter - @LeahTheCurious


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